Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I had my 4 week check-up with my doctor on Monday and was given the go ahead to return to normal activities. We also had to get a picture of Mia with Dr. E. I don't think my mom will ever forgive him for knicking her tiny little butt with the scalpel during my C-section.

After the check up, we walked over to my department so my co-workers could meet Mia. It really made me realize how much I am not looking forward to going back to work. The visit wasn't all that long. Mia's tummy wasn't feeling good and she was starting to cry so we just went home.

Mia had an ultrasound last week to check out her hips. Her pediatrician wanted to be sure that her hips were okay since she was a breech presentation at birth. The doctor that did the ultrasound felt that her right hip was "a little more loose" than they like. After her pediatrician read his results she wanted Mia to be seen my an pediatric orthopedists. We are going for that appointment tomorrow. Clay and I really are not that concerned with it because it doesn't cause Mia any pain and the pediatrician doesn't seem to be that concerned with it either. I supposed the ultrasound and the orthopedist are just precautions.

I have lost 2 more pounds for a total of 32. Guess those daily walks are really doing some good! My mental state is much better now too. If I could only stop being so uptight and tense when we leave the house!

Last Saturday, Mia stayed with her GranE for a few hours so that Clay and I could attend a bridal shower. I was so anxiously about leaving her even though I knew she was in great hands. I managed to wait 2 whole hours before calling and I was anxious for nothing. Mom said they played for a while, then she took part of a bottle, then was fast asleep. She was still asleep when we picked her up. Then she cried all the way home. She has an aversion to car rides lately for some reason. GranE is going to watch her again this Saturday while we attend the wedding. Well, I'm attending the wedding, Clay is doing the photography for it. This time, I won't feel so anxious about leaving her....I hope. :)

I know I have already posted bath pictures but this pic is from her bath the other night. I just love it...my husband is so talented.

Must go now. I can hear Mia cooing on the baby monitor which means she is "talking" to her bumper pads again and will be ready to get out of her crib soon. Time for our walk! :)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

4 weeks old

I can't believe she is already 4 weeks old. Which also means my maternity leave is half over. That makes me so sad. The first two weeks really did seem to last an eternity but then I started to get the hang of things and Mia got her days and nights straight and we are both sleeping better at night. Now that we are approaching her 4 week birthday I have gone from actually wanting to go back to work, to feel somewhat normal again, to not EVER wanting to go back to work - at least not for several more months. Seriously, the thought of leaving her with someone else, even for only 2 and half days a week, hurts my heart.

One of my favorite times now is when she wakes up in the morning around 8ish or so. She has always been so dramatic in waking up with her grunts and squeaks and her arms flying around. It takes her about 30 minutes to actually open her eyes. It's quite funny to watch and Clay and I have had some good laughs watching her! I can hear her making all her noises on the baby monitor and then she's quiet again. When I peek in on her to see how she's doing she is wide awake and intently studying her bumper pads. She's smiling and cooing and making little baby sighs. Her little personality is really starting to come out. I hate to sound selfish but I really don't want anyone else experiencing things before me or Clay. It's going to be very hard to go back to work and I only have 4 more precious weeks left.

I have been taking Mia on daily walks around the neighborhood. She usually sleeps through them but they are doing me a world of good. It's still very hot and we were only able to stay out for about 30 minutes at the most. Today, we were out for about an hour. She was actually awake for the first part of today's walk but soon dozed off. She's such a little cutie-pie.

I got on the scale this morning and have lost a total of 30 pounds. I don't really get an over abundance of "wow, you look great" comments but I certainly feel a lot skinnier than I used to. Still have 28 pounds to go until I am back to my wedding day weight. Since I was trying to lose weight then as well I will continue to try to lose more than 28 pounds, but right now my goal is just 28 pounds. Baby steps. :)

Splish splash

Mia's first bath! Her stump fell off last week but we have been so busy and tired that we never got around to giving her a real bath in the evenings. We were finally able to the other night. I really wasn't sure how she was going to react because she really wasn't into the "sponge" baths from me at all. I think they mostly irritated her.

I put her in her little tub and she didn't cry or making any sort of faces indicating any sort of protests. Guess she's just a little water-baby at heart.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Three weeks old

Mia will be 3 weeks old tomorrow but her appointment with the doctor today was for her 2 week check-up. She's doing great. She now weighs 9 pounds 6 ounces and has grown 2 whole inches for a total of 21 1/4. Her temper was showing through because I had to stop breastfeeding her so the doctor could check her out. The doctor made her mad too with the poking and prodding. The girl does not like to have her meals interrupted. She gets that from her mommy. :D

We've been doing good this week. Her "stump" fell off and she has the cutest belly button. Clay and I were happy to see that thing go. It was getting pretty gross looking. We were going to give her her very first bath tonight but we are both too tired for it. Probably tomorrow night. Another milestone for her this week was sleeping in her crib at night. I really couldn't take sleeping on the couch anymore and so we took the big plunge Monday night and put her to sleep in her room in her own bed. She did okay the first night and even better last night. She's growing up so fast.

I am still pretty tired but I'm dealing with it. Even though I only get to sleep about 2 hours or so at a time, I am sleeping better now that I'm back in my own bed. I have also been trying to nap more which helps a little. We are going to attempt to do more bottle feeding so that Clay can help out with the feeding more. She'll still be getting breast milk, just not always from the breast. She should be waking up soon for a feeding which is why I am upstairs and on the computer at the moment. Her pediatrician recommended to go ahead and start introducing the bottle now because she'll adjust to it more smoothly. I just can't be in the same room or she's more likely to refuse the bottle from Clay. I really want him to be able to have that time with her.

Monday, August 14, 2006

On a more positive note...

I realized after I created the previous post that it was nothing but negative and rather depressing. I thought I would update with all the positive and good things to do with motherhood.

Mia is a "noisy" sleeper. She grunts and squeaks A LOT and it makes me and Clay just laugh at her. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps and I love to catch a glimpse of a smile from her. It makes me wonder what she's dreaming about. She also makes some of the funniest faces I have ever seen. And she has the whole "talk-to-the-hand" thing down pat. She truly is the sweetest baby on the planet.

I've already lost about 25 pounds and my feet look normal again. It really is amazing how much fluid a body can retain! I think the breastfeeding has a lot to do with the weight loss. As it turns out, I gained about 58 pounds during the pregnancy. I'm hoping to start walking a little bit this week. I think the doctor told me I could start walking some when my incision was feeling better.

Breastfeeding is going VERY well. We bought a pump so that Clay can feed her some and so that we will be able to eventually leave her with someone else while we go out and when I go back to work. She is slowly starting to take a bottle of pumped breastmilk from her daddy.

Mia actually slept through the night last night. She slept from 11:30 to 5:00 this morning. I woke up at 3am wondering why she hadn't woken me up to nurse. Each day gets a little easier and being a little more rested helps even more!

We finally got a great picture of Mia, with her eyes open, for the birth announcement. Hopefully, we can get those out pretty soon. She is the most beautiful baby in the world. Clay and I have been so blessed. :)

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Two weeks old

Our baby girl is already 2 weeks old. While at times that seems to have gone by so quickly, there are also times where it seems like twice as long!

I will not sugar-coat this but will just come right out and say this has been HARD! I love that little girl with all my being but it has been quite an adjustment for me. I will be the first to admit that this has not come to me as naturally as I thought it would. While I was pregnant, so many people tried to warn me about the sleep deprivation. I tried to imagine what that would be like and prepare myself but there is not preparing for that. Handling one night of sleep deprivation is one thing, but several in a row takes its toll on a person.

I guess I have had some "baby blues". The first few days after being home I couldn't make it through a meal without crying. I would just start crying for no reason. Or I would look at that perfect little person that we created and just start bawling from the overwhelming emotions I felt just looking at her. I have gotten better with the crying. Now, when I cry I usually have a reason and it's usually frustration.

I have been having lots of doubts about my abilities as a mother. She is such a sweet, undemanding little sweetie pie and I sometimes still feel like I can't make her happy at times. I find myself thinking that I can't wait until she can walk and talk. I know that one day I will regret wishing her infancy away. So, I try to stop myself when I feel that way. I've been feeling a lot of guilt lately and trying to stop those feelings as well.

Breastfeeding was very hard at first. She latched on very well and all the nurses at the hospital told me how "lucky" I was for it to be going so well. I soldiered through the sore nipples but seriously considered giving it up many times. Clay and I bought a breast pump last weekend so that I could start pumping and he could help with the feedings. She has taken a bottle a couple of times but didn't seem to enthused about it this morning. Then, I start to worry that I will never been able to leave her with anyone and I will be confined to this house forever! It's been two weeks and the time I've spend at this computer this morning is the only alone time I've had so far. I never realized how much I needed my "me time" before.

Please don't get me wrong, I love Mia very much but this is a huge adjustment. I am so happy that I have Clay here to help me through this. He has truly been wonderful and I love him even more for it. He is such a wonderful father and is so involved in Mia. He jumps at any opportunity to help me out, to hold her, and to even change her diapers!

I have been telling myself this morning that she is just 2 weeks old and we won't always be in this "adjustment" period. She will eventually take a bottle and Clay and I will eventually get some time to ourselves again. I do miss that. I miss little things like sitting on the couch with just him and his arm around me. Speaking of which, I am wasting valuable time with him by being on this computer. Enjoy the pictures and I will update again soon...hopefully. :)

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Welcome to the world, Mia!

Born July 28, 2006 at 8:43am weighing 7 pounds 13 ounces and measuring 19 1/4 inches long.

Well, after 9 months of a great pregnancy and quite the unexpected labor and delivery, Miss Mia is finally here with us and we could not be happier. She is truly a little joy and we love her more than anything in the world. I really don't think either one of us expected to feel SO much love. I could sort of imagine what it was going to be like because I loved her for 9 months before she was even born. It's just so hard to describe.

Clay and I are still surprised that she was born on her due date. I think that only happens in about 5% of births. My water broke Friday morning at 12:45 after I had been having mild, but steady, contractions for an hour or so. I wasn't even completely sure it was my water when it happened. The contractions started to get a tad stronger and we started timing them for about an hour and then called the doctor. As I was on the phone with him, I could feel more "water" gushing out and had no doubts then what it was. We packed up everything we needed and headed to the hospital.

We arrived about 3:00am and got settled into a delivery room. We got hooked up to a fetal heartbeat monitor and another monitor for the contractions, neither of which I could really get to stay in place after a while. The contractions were uncomfortable but I managed to breath through them okay. Then the doctor didn't feel like I was making any progress with dilation so they started a little pitocin. I didn't want it and I found out it was for a good reason. That stuff is truly the devil. It made the contractions come on faster and harder and more frequent. I got to the point that I couldn't breath through them even with 3 people reminding me to breath. It was rough.

The doctor was going to insert an internal monitor to monitor the contractions but he discovered that what he was feeling on the baby wasn't "hard" like a head should be but "soft" like a butt would be. They pulled in a ultrasound machine. I learned later that they actually had 2 machines in there before they found one that worked properly. I was in that much pain that I didn't even notice. They discovered our little sweet pea was breach. I think we were both a little shocked by that at first. We also feel like my contractions would have been more manageable and the dilation would have occurred properly had she not been breach. It just would have been nice had they done the ultrasound before giving me the pitocin. It seems like I went through a lot of unnecessary pain.

After discussing the options, it seemed that a C-section was the best way to go for me and Mia. It all happened so fast that I didn't even have a chance to really be scared about it. Clay called our parents to let them know and to get into scrubs while they wheeled me off to the OR for preparation. Yes, I was still going through those God-awful contractions while being wheeled down the hall and prepped. I received a spinal block and it was almost instant and the difference was just amazing. Clay came in and they began.

We couldn't really see what was going on but Clay could tell my body was being pulled and tugged at in all sorts of directions. I couldn't even tell they'd made an incision yet and they'd already begun. Minutes later, we could hear Dr. E say, "Happy Birthday, Mia!" Clay stood up to take a look at her and Dr. E held her up over the curtain so I could get a quick glimpse. It was quick, too. With her first cry, I was crying. It was the most beautiful sound in the world and I instantly thought was a sweet little cry it was.

Clay went over to the side of the room while they cleaned her up and I just laid there crying at her sounds and could not wait to see her. After what seemed like forever, Clay brought her over and I got the very first kiss that I had been waiting for months to get. She was so sweet and I think she instantly recognized my voice. It was quite an emotional and happy experience. I still look at her or a picture from that day and the water works are instantly on. She's completely perfect and we love her so much.

After getting all stitched up, I was wheeled to recovery while she was taken to the nursery with Clay to get a more thorough check up. I tried to rest but all I could think about was seeing her again and holding her. Clay came in with her and a lactation nurse and we tried nursing. She latched right on and has been such a good little eater ever since.

We were discharged on Monday and we've been adjusting pretty well to being home. I think Mia likes it here pretty well. She spends a lot of time just eating and sleeping right now but we are enjoying every minute of her. We are getting ready to take her to her doctor's check up today so I must go and get back to my daughter. Wow, it sounds so cool to say that, "my daughter".

Update on the pediatrician appointment: Her weight is already up to 8 pounds 1 ounce and she is doing great! :)